Math Cheat Sheet

Math has just been a downer for everyone since the earliest days. No one ever liked sitting around and being told what the rules of the universe are. The first thing to know about math is that you are not alone when it comes to math. Second, some people call it "maths" because they're saying there are multiple mathematics. This is wrong. You do mathematics like a gymnast does gymnastics--there's only one of them at the Olympics and there's just a lot of rules. Lastly you have to learn the rules of math, but that's it. Even Common Core is really just rules, no matter how stupid they are, and if you know how to do rules, then math is easy.

Basic Math

This is math you should already know if you're a teenager. I will try to keep this short but don't feel embarrassed if you don't know some of this stuff. Math is like martial art, it's all one circle, and you can come in anywhere on the circle until you have a full, round knowledge.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 are your numbers. Each one is one more than the last one. If there's nothing, or you go over 9, you have to use a special one called 0 sometimes, it's not really a number though.

+ and - and =

When you use + around any two numbers, you fuse them into a bigger one. (All numbers are actually just fused, littler numbers). You may know 2+2=4 because it's in pop culture, but did you know that 6+7=13? The = shows you that it “equals”, a way of showing you the fusion result. The half-equals sign, - (you can remember it because - is half of =. Here is an example: 7-4=3. Basically, if 4 equalled 3, then they would both be half of 7) is the last one.

/ and X

Basically just fancier versions of the last ones.

Advanced Math

Now we get to the really good stuff, but spoiler alert, it's really easy.

Geometry is just shapes, just remember that triangles are the smallest shape (anything smaller than that is not a shape) and that a famous person named Sohcahtoa discovered that. Shapes can never overlap, it's not allowed, and you can make any shape with only straight lines if you use fake ghost circles sometimes. (Trigonometry is just advanced geometry, they can evolve.)

Algebra is just using numbers when you don't actually know the numbers yet, like what politicians do. Don't trust people who get super interested in algebra. If you must deal with it, just remember that anything that's not a number is just something that could be any number. Don't blink too often around algebra, that's when it changes the rules.

Calculus is just ways to cheat when someone asks you some crap question like "how many ice cubes could you fit inside an ice cream cone if you're allowed to shave the ice down to fit". It's just how curved stuff works. Two people invented this math rule, and could never get along. Try not to worry too much about this one.

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